Helpful things

Here are some things which we have found useful, we’ll keep updating as we come across new bits and pieces. Please comment below if there is anything you think should be added:


The A-Z of Therapeutic Parenting: Strategies and Solutions, By Sarah Naish

(I really like this one – it does what it says on the tin, e.g. A = Absconding: What it looks like; Why this might happen; Preventative Strategies; Strategies during and Strategies after. Covers really challenging aspects of parenting such as soiling, false allegations and stealing. Frustratingly it doesn’t have an index, but I can see us frantically flicking through it in the future!)

The Primal Wound: Understanding the adopted child, By Nancy Verrier

(Despite the gross title, this is Cara’s favourite. It gives an interesting perspective from an adoptee who is also an adopter)

Attachment in Common Sense and Doodles, By Miriam Silver

(A really good intro to attachment, which uses every day examples to put behaviours into context, oh and doodles.)

What to Expect When You’re Adopting…: A practical guide to the decisions and emotions involved in adoption, By Dr Ian Palmer

(A clear guide to the adoption process itself, useful to use almost as a glossary when we come across terms and procedures we are unsure off – which happens about every 6 minutes) 

Twenty Things Adoptive Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew, By Sherrie Eldridge

(This is written by an adoptee and whilst it undoubtedly provides an invaluable insight from the first person, it was a bit American-y for me) 

Becoming Dads, By Pablo Fernandez

(I haven’t actually read this one – but it is a diarised narrative, akin to a published Blog of two Dad’s experience of adoption in the UK)

The Pink Guide to Adoption: for Lesbians and Gay Men, by Nicola Hill

(Again, Cara has read this, I’ve been lapse. this is a series of case studies of same sex adopters at various stages of the process. I’ve just had a flick through and it looks great!)

The Conscious Parent, By Shefali Tsabaey

(with a foreword by His Holiness the Dalai Lama, this might seem a bit basket weaving yoga-y for us, but it was recommended by a fabulous friend who has a) been a looked after child and b) is a Mother, so we took a punt and we’re glad we did. it’s premise is ‘transforming ourselves and empowering our children’, we can’t manage the downward dog, but that doesn’t mean we cant be spiritual!)

The Great Behaviour Breakdown, by Dr Bryan Post

(Cara has been carrying this around in her bad for the past month or so! It comes highly recommended so will update when either of us gets around to reading it!)


New Family Social 


A Home for Maisie 

(Oh my word, I cried buckets over this one. Super inspirational people doing amazing things with hard to place children. Hats off to Sue and Jim!)

Love is Not Enough 

(Follows four families throughout the process, to placement and beyond. There is a heart breaking twist in one of the  stories that left Cara and myself sobbing)


Betsy de Thierry

(fantastic training that we were able to access at no cost via our work, but would certainly consider self funding more. Betsy operates Trauma Recovery Centres in the UK and facilitates ‘trauma recovery focused practice’. She has also published several books on the topic, which we will be investing in:


BBC Radio 4, The Adoption,


The Adoptive Marathon

Our Journey Through Adoption

Two Country Dads